MISTAKE - RIDDEN

Folks, step right up and hear about our mistakes galore, such as renting our first space on 10th Street in 2002 because it came with a fully built-out kitchen with ovens, dish machine, hoods, etc…only to discover that none of it was up to code. Cha-ching: $92,000. 

Which led to the next big mistake, since it decimated our cash even before we opened. Keep in mind we self-financed by downsizing our house rather than joining up with deep pocketed investors, so we then signed up for a too-good-to-be-true offer from our credit card provider: they’d give us $25,000 on the spot in exchange for future credit card receipts. “Here's the money now; we'll just deduct what you owe from future credit card receipts." So we immediately signed up, and voila! a check for $25k arrived. Unfortunately, it turned out that 97% of our future sales were in credit cards vs cash, so for the next 4 months, our end-of-day bank cash deposits were laughable –sometimes just a few dollars– and rendered us penniless once again. The only way to keep the doors open was to sell Mitch’s Jeep. 

The tomahawk “misteak” was one of our most painful experiences. Long story short, we offered a 5-course, prix fixe Valentine’s Day meal in 2016 featuring a gorgeous 3-lb Tomahawk Steak. Reservations sold out in a heartbeat, but what started out as a beautiful candlelit evening for the 6pm seating quickly veered off the tracks. The gorgeous steaks were so thick that they took forever to cook, then also needed additional time to “rest” for the best flavor. This of course forced our guests to wait excruciatingly long times for their meals, which then held up the next reservation for that table, which then backed up the next seating… hell, our 8pm guests weren’t even seated until past 10:30, making the tomahawk “misteak” one of our worst nightmares. 

But these mistakes pale in comparison to the multi-million dollar losses we incurred when we opened a second restaurant in Duluth. Co-founders Cyn and Mitch loved Duluth so much that they naively assumed our success in downtown Minneapolis would automatically translate into another winner. Our Canal Park Hell’s Kitchen was balls-to-the-wall busy during tourist season, but we struggled the rest of the year. We were prepared for a huge influx of cash during high season to carry us the rest of the year. Unfortunately, the tourist season didn’t hit its stride until the July 4th weekend, and worse, everyone vanished after Labor Day. Two months of cash flow wasn’t nearly enough to last through winter, so after 3 years, we licked our wounds, paid our vendors in full with our own money, and used our Minneapolis profits to pay off our remaining $817,000 bank loan. Combined with 3 years of massive losses, the amount of money we lost was staggering. 

Wait, you thought we were perfect and never made mistakes?? Yeah, we didn't think so. We’re rolling our eyes as well.

PROFITABLE / UNPROFITABLE

Have you ever gained weight in such tiny increments that you didn’t even notice til you finally stepped on a scale? Well, the slide from profitability to UNprofitability was the same for Hell’s Kitchen. Today’s True Story From Hell is to give you a peek into how embarrassingly easy it was for us to get mired in our daily operations to the point of not noticing until we were within inches from falling off a cliff.

In our case, the owners were working an exhausting number of hours each week. Dancing so hard to keep all the plates spinning, we kept kicking the “watch your numbers can” down the road. But in late 2017, our anemic cash flow forced us to stop spinning our heads long enough to look into the reason. When we saw the figures, we dropped our jaws and fell on our knees. The reason we were all so exhausted was that our sales had rocketed to $8.8 million, which industry advisors call an astonishing volume for an independent restaurant without investors. The reason we were shattered when we saw the numbers was because in spite of all our work, we incurred a loss of $128,145. All that energy and effort…

We instantly flew into action and invited everyone on our team to send us cost-saving ideas. With a goal of cutting out the fat without cutting into the bone, we immediately implemented most of their thoughtful ideas, from huge ones such as eliminating our fledgling podcasts from our stage (brilliant idea, but way ahead of it’s time and super costly) to tiny things (“who woulda thunk” switching from red paper bar napkins to white ones made a difference?) 

Learning from our fkups not only resulted in an almost instant turnaround –we were back in the black the next year– but also unknowingly made the stars align better for us when covid hit. Yes, we’re tired of talking about covid, but having already done the cost-cutting analysis in 2017 saved us from becoming deer in headlights when everything abruptly shut down for almost 2 years. We had already trimmed the fat.

Here’s why we’re taking time to publicly pull the curtain back about our profitability/unprofitability: the next time you step into a wonderfully busy restaurant in your own area of the country, keep in mind that old adage about ducks calmly gliding on lakes while paddling furiously underwater to stay afloat. No matter how busy and successful looking, many places might very likely have owners still trying like hell to be profitable. A guy in Ohio closed all 4 of his restaurants last week, calling it a "gut punch." Here in NE Mpls, Able Seedhouse just announced that today will be their last day. Betty Danger's AND Psycho Suzi's are both for sale. As for ourselves, although sales are continually increasing as downtown comes back alive, we’re still climbing out of the red, but rest assured, we'll absolutely get there.

So support your local gems wherever you are; tip well, be kind if you notice short-staffing glitches, accept that labor, supply, and food costs have increased exponentially (butter cost $47/case in 2019 and now is close to $150), and continue to show your understanding and appreciation to all the ducks that are still furiously paddling . 

SAD

The nationwide staffing shortage continues to be in the headlines because it’s affected every industry, from law firms to global tech companies, healthcare facilities, education, and everything in between. Being an employee-owned restaurant that offers medical insurance, sane work schedules, a kind, calm management team, supportive co-workers, inclusive decision-making, a piece of the profits, and healthy wages everyone seems to feel good about, we naively felt we could weather the staff shortage crisis.

That wishful thinking (more about that later) turned into genuinely sad feelings about those who left our underground lair. About a year ago, we began our “callbacks” to the 141 employees furloughed way back in 2020. One by one, as business increased, cooks, servers, hosts, bartenders, and others came back into our fold. The exuberance of being back together has been one of the highlights of this past year, but we’re also sad to have lost many of our colleagues who left to pursue other dreams. Jess, our AGM, and her family moved to Colorado for a new start that let them follow their rock-climbing passions. Sarah, our Event Coordinator, and her husband now operate a thriving real estate business. Kris, our HR Manager, now handles HR for one of Minnesota’s largest breweries, and one of our young prep cooks now fixes boilers for an envious 6-figure salary. The list goes on and on, and while we’re of course happy for their new careers, we’re still sad to have lost members of our restaurant family.

That sadness turned into gratefulness, though, as we were writing this post and realized that those who did come back are more excited and committed than ever to staying in the hospitality industry. We’re back because we get a huge satisfaction from providing good service. We’re back because there’s an exhilaration to having survived another ball-busting weekend, slinging damn good food for over 1,200 people. We’re back because the look in our guests’ eyes when they see our Bloody Mary Bar tells us how delighted they are to put their worries away and just enjoy the present moment. We’re back because we genuinely love to cook. We’re back because it’s fun when kids leave us the sweetest little notes, when downtown workers discover our fast-as-lightning Cafeteria options up at the street level, and when guests say, “Thanks! Glad the hotel told us about this great place.” We especially love it when you leave us splendid online reviews.

This industry is in our blood, and for those of us who came back, it’s not just a job; it’s a combination of things that bring us energy and satisfaction and reward and purpose, and we’re eternally grateful for being a part of it. So if you know anyone with our same sense of spirit, send ‘em our way and let us introduce them to the joys of Hell. See? Our sadness didn’t last even long enough to write this week’s Anniversary story. Now can we nudge you into sharing this post and helping us find another good cook or three?

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SURPRISING!

Although this True Story from Hell post is called “Surprising,” it might as well also be called “You Get It.” And hey, if you’re out of town, keep reading…we have something for you as well.

A few weeks ago, we told you about how a long, backstage hallway that musicians trudged through was converted into a beautiful 35-ft create-your-own Bloody Mary / Mimosa experience. We figured that a few of you “locals” (as we call ya) would come back in after its 2 year absence due to, well, you know…

But we were shocked at how much excitement our long-awaited reopening caused. We saw folks we hadn’t seen in years as well as groups who came down for the first time ever out of curiosity. The surprising part is how the sheer energy in our dining rooms lifted our spirits more than you can imagine. Better yet, our 35-ft extravaganza with gourmet rim salts, specialty olives, cheeses, bacon, peppers, wings, jerky and dozens of other garnishes caught media attention generated even more excitement……yowza! Check out the link here.

About that “you get it” part? Those in the know are aware that an adjacent parking ramp drops you via elevator right into our underground lair, so no matter what the weather, you never even have to step outside. At just five bucks on weekends and evenings, it’s easy to zip into hell and see what all the buzz is about.

Oh yeah. Hey outta towners! Wish we could fly ya in on our nickel (ha! As if!), but click here to download Mitch’s recipe for that award-winning Bloody Mary mix, which one food writer described as “Thick and fantastically complex, the Hell’s Kitchen Bloody captures the perfect level of spice - not too hot, but you'll damn well know you're drinking it.” Mitch (our founder who passed away a few years ago) would be fantastically proud that his recipe still is the talk of the town.

CREATIVE!

TODAY, with great (and not so humble) fanfare, we’re thrilled to share the true behind-the-scenes story about how our epic Bloody Mary Bar came alive specifically due to the creative minds at Hell’s Kitchen that were willing to color outside the lines and think outside the box. 

Those of you who’ve enjoyed our Classic Bloody Mary probably already knew about the multiple “Best Bloody” awards we’ve received for it. The housemade mix, described by food editors as “thick and fantastically complex with just the right amount of spice,” was the star, and we honestly didn’t think anyone really cared about all those “over the top add-ons” we saw at other places. 

But then one day we had an epiphany: Maybe we’re wrong? Are we too smug? Maybe our guest would love a huge Bloody Mary with cheese, meats, shrimp, peppers, and all sorts of goodies. So we spent the next several months playing with bamboo skewers and all sorts of foods as we tried to create our own badass Bloody Mary to add to our bar menu.

Over the next few months, we tested a zillion different configurations, but whenever we asked staffers which version should make the final cut, their answers were all over the place…nobody could settle on one particular favorite to add to our drink menu.

That’s when we had a second epiphany: why the hell were WE trying to decide what our customers would want? Why not let them decide for themselves? So we walked through the entire restaurant trying to envision where in the world we could squeeze an entire Bloody Mary Bar into our underground lair…one overflowing with a bounty of choices…one where folks could literally design their own fancy-ass Bloody Mary. 

And that’s when the creativity of our staff went into overdrive and magically, the Jacked Up Bloody Mary Bar at Hell’s Kitchen came to life. They gussied-up a long, unused hallway that musicians trudged through to reach the backstage and turned it into a beautiful 35-ft create-your-own Bloody experience featuring gourmet rim salts, specialty olives, cheeses, bacon, peppers, chicken wings, jerky and dozens of other garnishes. It turned into an iconic Twin Cities destination, with lots of buzz and Instagram snapshots. The press noticed, too, including a “Best Bloody Mary Bar in the country” nod from USA Today as well as Parade Magazine. 

Sadly, due to covid safety precautions, our sexy black hallway has been dark since March of 2020, but this weekend, we’re finally ready to open it back up for you to enjoy the experience. Join us so you can dance down the hallway and create your own big beauty and we’ll even throw in a free Photo Booth token so you can prove you’ve been to Hell while showing off your creativity!

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INCLUSIVE!

Our next True Story from Hell is about the legacy of inclusiveness that our founders left to us all. Our fearless leader Mitch grew up in a household of incredibly wonderful people fueled by the warmth of inclusivity. One day, for example, we came to work and found that Mitch had posted a handwritten sign on our back kitchen door that said, “When Robert asks for a leftover sandwich, do NOT give him any leftovers. Instead, prepare a fresh sandwich for him, pile it high, and include all the sides we’d normally include for paying guests.” 

On Dec 18, 2015, the very same day Mitch suddenly died after a long illness, an inconsolable Cyn (his wife and HK co-founder) drove downtown, hopped out of her car, and flagged down a couple pushing a stroller in the freezing cold near the Greyhound Bus Terminal. Sobbing, she told them, “My husband just died and I know he’d want me to do this.” She then gave the stunned couple a fistful of wadded up bills along with every last penny that she had dug out of Mitch’s pockets.

In addition to private moments of inclusivity such as these, we’re most proud about our public support for the LGBTQIA+ community, which has always been loud and unwavering. Our fondest memory is from years ago when the state finally passed a bill to allow same sex marriages. Mitch and Cyn instantly decided that Hell’s Kitchen would throw a free wedding to celebrate. Astonishingly, the minute we posted on social media that we would provide the space, the dinner, the wedding cake, and all the staff to make it happen, a tsunami of additional support came from photographers, florists, event planners, and videographers, all offering their services for free as well. 

So, as we celebrate our 20th Anniversary, we want to say how honored we feel to be a place of celebration for LGBTQIA+ events over the years. Our Drag Brunches, Weddings, Private Events, and of course our Pride Parade Balloon Brigades have given our Employee Owners so many cherished memories. Thank you for sharing your community with us, for trusting us, for seeing us as a safe place, and for supporting us so fiercely over the past 2 decades. We hold you dear to our hearts, and hope to continue being a place of inclusivity and celebration for years to come. 

HAPPY!

Happy? Damn right we’re happy. We’re happy to be alive, and it’s not just because of Covid. It’s because (as you may have already noticed in the news the past few years), this has ALWAYS been a brutal business. Look, there are good cooks everywhere. Mitch and Steve were good cooks, and had decades of industry experience as cooks, chefs, sous chefs, and Executive Chefs. But it’s a quantum leap from being kitchen warhorses to operating a restaurant, and yup, we fell right into that “Hey! Let’s open a restaurant” rabbit hole.

The rabbit hole. Yeah. Back in 2000, Cyn Gerdes, who founded a $14M group of indie Twin Cities toy stores in 1982, met and married a chef called Mitch. This imposing, 6’4” 270-lb man was charismatic, creative, and talented enough at his craft to win multiple awards while working at notable restaurants in the area. He was also wild, untamed, and unafraid of anything. The wild part got his Executive Chef ass fired numerous times, though. So one day when Mitch went home, plopped on the sofa (which moved 3” whenever his hefty body dropped into the cushions), and declared, “Goddammit, I’m done with this business.”

“Lose another job?” Gerdes asked kindly (really! Cyn adored Mitch no matter what). “Yup, but I can’t blame them…the restaurant was sold, and every new owner has EVERY right to immediately replace the team. I’m just tired of winning awards for them and then having to move on.”

“Well, why don’t you just open your own place?” she said, trying to keep up his spirits because situations like this often caused Mitch —who was bipolar and suffered from bouts of depression— to quickly spiral downward. By this time, Cyn had already learned that that kindness and gentle understanding would avoid another trip to the emergency room. Vs all the “WTFs?!” she would exclaim earlier in their relationship.

“Cyn, I know how to cook, but I don’t know jackshit about running a business,” he said between mega size gulps of red wine (an entirely different upcoming True Story from Hell). “Ah, but that’s where I come in!” Cyn happily exclaimed. “What if I help you open a restaurant? I’ll get all the business admin end of things set up and you can run the kitchen. We can do this, Mitch! Besides, how hard can it be?”

“HOW HARD CAN IT BE?” Let that critical comment sink in. Cyn planned on helping out for “the first few months,” but had NO idea just how hard it is to run the back end of a restaurant’s operations. Marketing. Legal. Insurance. Invoices. Payroll. Signs. Trademarks. Copyrights. Worker’s Comp. Liquor License. Regulatory compliance. Secretary of State updates. W4’s. Point of Sale systems. Daily checkouts. Bank deposits. By the end of the first 3 months, Cyn realized her future would require 80 hour workweeks running both her toy stores (Creative Kidstuff) as well as Mitch’s new baby (Hell’s Kitchen), so she sold the former and signed up for a lifetime in hell.

And that Life in Hell doesn’t even include the leg-shattering accident Mitch had when the restaurant was only 3 weeks old, but that’s another future True Story from Hell. Regardless, it’s imperative you know how damn HAPPY we are to still be around 20 years later. Under any circumstances, ANY restaurant would be happy to still be standing, but in our case, we should say happy AND genuinely astonished.

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Courageous (?)

SCARED COURAGEOUS

We interrupt our next True Story from Hell (Courageous) and have decided to continue our decades of transparency and come clean. You see, several months ago, while we were mulling over how to acknowledge our upcoming 20th Anniversary, we tossed out all sorts of descriptives about our experiences over the years. Happy, Anxious, etc etc etc. Scared wasn’t even on that list because we’re kind of ballsy people who don’t get frightened very easily. Even as the weeks of Covid closure dragged into months without an end in sight, we didn’t have time to be scared. Nervous as hell, yeah, but scared? Nah. Not in our DNA.

Instead, we chose the word COURAGEOUS to describe about having the internal fortitude and courage to even think about opening a brand new, never-before concept during the pandemic. (This is probably why we also avoided the word “stoopid”…we’re too proud to have even considered the word.) But back to the courageous concept. We had initially hoped to open our Hell’s Cafeteria concept last October. With all the supply chain delays for equipment, even our architects raised their eyebrows at our tight deadlines, and politely pointed out that a better target might be January or February. Bless their hearts, they didn't even roll their eyes.

Well, the GOOD news is that our March opening went without a hitch. Shiny equipment all in place, a sparkling new gift shop tucked next to Hell’s Cafeteria, new gift items downtown visitors could take back home, and a crackerjack team of cooks at the ready.

We also got great press from MSP Magazine, Mn Monthly, and local influencers (thanks, Jason DeRusha!) which garnered instant interest in our quick serve cafeteria concept. Slinging awesome food in a matter of minutes weekdays from 7am to 2:30pm, our biggest thrills were when out of town visitors said how much they love Hell’s Cafeteria.

Still reading? We started to get nervous when we realized that most offices STILL hadn’t come back even in March. But we can pinpoint the exact date when our courage melted into fear: April 19, the day Target (downtown’s largest employer) announced that coming back to the office at their corporate HQ a block away would remain hybrid, with no set office requirements. Don’t get us wrong: we AGREE how sane and wonderful working from home is, but we built this cafeteria for the people who work at Target, US Bank, Deluxe, Wells Fargo, AmeriPrise, RBC, Thrivant, Deloitte, and all the other offices (large and small) that make up the fabric of downtown activity.

To say we were dismayed is an understatement. We’re grateful for the business we’ve had so far, but for Hell’s Cafeteria to be a success financially, we need you. And you. And you and you and YOU. So if you’re downtown at HCMC, Hennepin County, City offices, Xcel, SPS, Be the Match, and any other workplace (we value you ALL), please keep us in mind when you want a quick bite of something delicious. Alleviate our new fears and check out www.HellsCafeteriaMN.com. And please spread the word. Our Employee Owners are welcoming, gracious, SO excited, and very much want to show off the dream we’ve worked so hard to make come true.

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